Homecoming, Bubble Fountains, Dr. Cox on Vegetarianism and Wildlife Slaughter

Homecoming Week: /def/ (n.) A week full of school spirit and class pride, full of activities, competitions, dressing up, and fun.

Sounds great, and awesome, and crazy, and all cool things combined, right?

But wait! A wild homework has appeared! Run away or fight? Well, the only choice here at PHC is to fight for your very life against the wild homeworks that come out of the tall grass…er, Lake Bob….er, professors. So while everyone else is having a wonderful time painting banners and making cakes and creating great memories of their first year at college that will last a life time…Chrabby is locked away in their room doing homework. On Saturday afternoon, while the entire student body (or all those who deemed it cool enough to participate in off their own free will) are dressed up in correspondence to their class mascot.

Where is Chrabby, you make ask? Sitting in Nash Auditorium for four and a half hours putting on a trial for Dr. G. Instead of making a cheer, we are practicing direct examinations. Instead of throwing on a jock outfit, we are in suits and heels. While we took our short break for lunch, we sat amongst a sea of hipsters, jocks, preps, and nerds. The true nerds, however, were none other than Chrabby, a suit surrounded by costumes.

In protest to having to spend the entire day in a suit, when we finally were free of our mock trial duties, (and after everyone else had changed back into street clothes) we donned our most obnoxious jock outfits and RULED the dining hall at dinner. We may have posed a slight violation of dress code in our short shorts/leggings combo, but after some of the getups we’d seen at lunch, that hardly seemed like a just travesty.

But one thing that positively topped homecoming weekend was the trip to Leesburg that resulted in the discovery of the Great Fountain of Bubbles. No, we did not put the bubbles in it! Jeez. We found it that way, and took advantage of it. (It told us no, but we knew it wanted it.) So as we came upon this fountain that was already over a foot deep in bubbles, we made a decision. Our options were: be mature, look at the fountain, and walk by; or, PLAY IN IT TO OUR HEARTS CONTENT, bury each other, throw it at each other, make bubble hats, bubble clothes, and bubble snowmen. *hint: we chose the second option.

While we were in the midst of our immaturity, a guy with a camera came up to us. Apparently he was a professional photographer taking a photo/video set for the restaurant right by the fountain, and decided that a bunch of college kids throwing bubbles at each other was a way cooler use of his time. So, he took pictures and videos of our little run in with the Great Fountain of Bubbles.

The best part: walking into a bowling alley for cosmic bowling with remnants of soap and bubbles in your hair and all over your clothes, and getting looks from all the employees like you’ve gone completely crazy. Win? Win.

On the Hazards of Being a Vegetarian at PHC

PHC prides itself in its uplifting, Christian community, and the way that people stick together, support, and encourage one another. Or so I was told before I came here. Since my arrival, I’ve learned of several critical things that they conveniently left out of their recruitment materials. The first was that in order to attend PHC, you’re supposed to be a proficient swing dancer. [Oops.] The second is that the whole spiel about the “uplifting community” doesn’t apply to those who choose not to eat meat.

Both halves of Chrabby happen to be vegetarians (and have been for years). I personally have it easier than Christina, who also has allergies to gluten and lactose. It can make eating in the dining hall a difficult experience. I mean…salad is great. But after a few weeks of nothing else it can get a little old, especially when you’re used to specialty food from home. But the difficulty we have in diversifying our diets pales in comparison to the other challenge presented to vegetarians at PHC. Vegetarians are hazed, by students and faculty alike.

Perhaps we should have expected it. Conservatives and homeschoolers stereotypically support the NRA, and cite the principles of the second amendment as if the foundation of our country depends on our permanent “right” to slaughter wildlife. I knew what I was getting into before I even got here, when someone posted on the Class of 2015 Facebook group, asking if there was any storage for guns off campus. Because God forbid a human should go for four months without killing something. I sarcastically posted something to that effect just to see what would happen, and sure enough, was mobbed by a bunch of hunting fanatics, all eager to turn me from my evil and misled ways. I don’t really want to be converted actually, but thanks anyway. 

What came as more of a surprise to me was the opinion of the faculty. Dr. Cox is famous for his stories about killing animals. Earlier last week I’d left class when he told a story about killing a rat with hedge clippers. When I walk into Theology I emotionally brace myself for animal cruelty, but when he got to the part about how the clippers didn’t go all the way through the rat, I couldn’t stay. In the next class, Dr. Cox was talking about how his neighbor would not allow him to shoot a deer that was on the neighbor’s property. He told the class that he could not morally shoot a deer that was standing two feet over the property line, but “as soon as that deer put its toe over the line” it would meet its brutal end. A bit confused about this aggression toward the deer, I asked him to reconcile his moral standard for me. Why did the neighbor’s boundaries matter so much compared to the life of the deer, which he took with so little thought? In his explanation, he proceeded to take a crack at vegetarians, before one of my classmates piped up that I actually was a vegetarian. *footmouth*

I didn’t really think too much of it until later that day, when students who weren’t in my section started coming up to me and asking me if I had “really said that stuff.” Apparently he mentioned a crazy vegetarian girl in both of his other sections. I don’t understand the concept of friending your professors on facebook, but some of the people here do, and they showed me his status, which went something like “I met a vegetarian today, and I was surprised to find out that people who care about animals actually exist.” Only at PHC.

Posting this, I already have that apprehensive feeling, knowing that I’m going to be approached in the dining hall by more eager “meatvangelists.” We’re always happy to explain why we prefer not to eat meat, but no matter how many Bible verses you throw at us, we’re not going to change..

On the same note of vegetarianism, I was also asked by a professor about my *strange* eating habits. This one, however, was a little bit kinder than Dr. Cox and his followers. Dr. Favelo curiously asked me if I was a vegan. I quickly clarified that no, unfortunately, I am not a vegan, but I do avoid the flesh of animals as well as dairy. Problem? *trollface*

Chrabby would like to make it clear that we are very sorry for not posting last week. We understand the we made a quasi-promise to post every weekend for the student body of PHC. However, there are times when promises must be broken, as homework must take priority. (We sometimes do that funny, responsible student thing). Hopefully, we’ll be able to post again this weekend (if we can get all our Western Civ studying done, the WC essay, R&W final, study for Spinney…).

Don’t forget that if you have any Spinneyisms, Favelisms, epic stories, or anything suggestions of what you’d like to see on the blog, send them to keepcalmandstudyspinney@gmail.com. Enjoy!!!