An In-Depth Analysis of Communism at Patrick Henry College

Socialism. Communism.

Words with incredibly negative connotations. What ungodly events we associate with these words. What a terrible belief, a way of living. Certainly we would never find ourselves cleaving to the nasty parameters of Communism.

Right?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you. The intensely analytical study of Patrick Henry College as a communist organization.

“Communism is a distinct socio-political philosophy that is willing to use violent means to attain its goal of a classless society. If capitalism is defined as a social system based on individual rights (and individual wealth), then communism is its direct opposite. Communism believes in equality through force. In its system, individual rights are ground to powder and used to build its idol of absolute government control.”

Absolute government control? Sound familiar? That’s right folks, we’re living under it. Communist principles are found all over PHC. Though most of us religiously claim to hold to the principles of freedom and small government, the cold hard truth is that the administration of PHC doesn’t practice what it preaches. For four years of our lives, we live under a large, intrusive government that regulates everything from what brand of shoes we wear to the religion that we practice.

Communism in Education: Are we being brainwashed at PHC?

Communist education:

Now let’s pick apart those two words. Communist. Education. We’ve already given you a definition for that. Anti-class, controlling equality, massive government. Now we have education. You could go on forever trying to figure out with a specific definition of education. Plenty of people have put forth their two sense of how young people should be educated. Whether it be by a village, a government, a parent, a professor—all day, or only a few hours, for free or for money, covered by taxes or donors—education is something that most everyone comes in contact to at one time or another.

But we don’t want to talk about all different kinds of education. We want to talk about Patrick Henry College. The statement of PHC claims “For Christ and for Liberty.” But do we really have liberty here? Are we not all taught the same thing in hopes of crafting us in to particular types of people? We are enforced with a dress code, so that all look the same. Nothing unusual, or designed to attract attention is allowed. That’s not even getting down to the education though. We are taught ‘critical thinking.’ But what is TRULY being taught is the SAME exact thing to each person: be what we want, say what we want, do what we want, influence the government how we want, go into business how we want, write what we want, walk like we want, live your life how we want. They encourage students to ‘lead our nation and shape our culture.’ They are conditioning us, and we are willing.

Now, I’m sure not a single student enrolled at PHC thinking that they were submitting themselves to a communist organization. And I’m even MORE sure that the administration would not admit to being communistic. The facts are laid out.

Communism in Religion: Why mandatory chapel is counterproductive.

Should a government be allowed to regulate the religion of its citizens? Most conservatives tremble at the thought. Unless, of course, it’s PHC (that’s totally okay). Homeschool parents can regularly be heard complaining about the secular colleges or public schools forcing agendas, but PHC does this unashamedly and provokes no such criticism. When it comes down to it, there is no difference between the two.

The problem with forced religion is that it is not real religion. Well, I mean, if you believe that religion consists of external behaviors, of course it can be forced. But if you believe that it is an internal matter, of the heart, there is absolutely nothing that an authority can do to force it. PHC doesn’t claim that chapel attendance will guarantee salvation, but it is “mandatory” for all students. Why? That’s a good question. The truth is; making chapel attendance mandatory actually does more harm than good.

If chapel attendance were optional, I would probably be there 80-90% of the time. Simply because I honestly value the opportunity to worship with others. And I would be there specifically for that purpose: worshipping, not checking facebook. But when something becomes, forced, mandatory, it immediately changes the entire substance of that activity. When we choose to participate in an activity, we have a personal investment in that activity. We’ve chosen to spend our time there, for the purpose of actually doing that activity. However, when an activity is forced, students are robbed of the opportunity to invest themselves in it. Without a personal investment, students lose nothing by checking facebook, texting, or being otherwise distracted.

PHC, if you truly want electronic distractions during chapel to stop, make chapel optional. Give us the option of being there because we want to be there. Let us invest our time and ourselves in our religion, instead of trying to force it onto us.

Communism in Everyday Life: Christians: blending in, or making statements?

Be not conformed to this world. Most of us Christian kids were told growing up that we were supposed to stand up and be different from the culture and our peers. To stand up for what we believe, and not be afraid of being different. Going against the grain is more than okay, our Sunday school teachers told us, it’s what we should be doing. And yet, at PHC, students are regularly forced into a mold. Cookie cutter Christians, we call them: people who are each exactly alike. From the way we think, the way we look, and the occupations that we are expected to pursue, PHC crams its students into its idea of what we should be.

One of the best demonstrations of PHC’s attempts at creating cookie-cutter followers is in the way they require them to look. There is much to be said about the benefits of a business casual dress code that encourages students to prepare for the way they will one day have to dress in their profession. However, when describing the code of how students are to wear/style their hair, the specific wording used in the Student Life Manual says students must avoid “unusual styles designed to attract attention.” The clear and blatant command to NOT be different, NOT have personal style, NOT do anything that takes away from the conformist image that PHC wishes all of its students to have. While PHC claims to promote ‘critical thinking’ and the ability to make a difference in the world today, what they REALLY promote is followers that cannot be told apart amongst themselves. 

A quick word about free speech: I’m not huge on most of PHC’s rules, but I can generally live under them in peaceful disagreement. There’s really only one that I can think of that I have a huge issue with. In the “Biblical Standards” section of the Student Handbook, rule number 9 states: “Students will not advocate non-Biblical sexual practices, such as extra-marital sex, homosexuality or homosexual ‘marriage.’” The reasons to support or oppose gay marriage could fill an entire blog, but the point here is that apparently the administration of PHC is allowed to dictate what we’re allowed to believe and say. If PHC was truly training leaders, who could think critically for themselves, we would be allowed to consider all options. Unfortunately, PHC doesn’t have that kind of faith in its students, feeding them only properly approved information.

Is PHC training leaders? Or is it training robots?

Homecoming, Bubble Fountains, Dr. Cox on Vegetarianism and Wildlife Slaughter

Homecoming Week: /def/ (n.) A week full of school spirit and class pride, full of activities, competitions, dressing up, and fun.

Sounds great, and awesome, and crazy, and all cool things combined, right?

But wait! A wild homework has appeared! Run away or fight? Well, the only choice here at PHC is to fight for your very life against the wild homeworks that come out of the tall grass…er, Lake Bob….er, professors. So while everyone else is having a wonderful time painting banners and making cakes and creating great memories of their first year at college that will last a life time…Chrabby is locked away in their room doing homework. On Saturday afternoon, while the entire student body (or all those who deemed it cool enough to participate in off their own free will) are dressed up in correspondence to their class mascot.

Where is Chrabby, you make ask? Sitting in Nash Auditorium for four and a half hours putting on a trial for Dr. G. Instead of making a cheer, we are practicing direct examinations. Instead of throwing on a jock outfit, we are in suits and heels. While we took our short break for lunch, we sat amongst a sea of hipsters, jocks, preps, and nerds. The true nerds, however, were none other than Chrabby, a suit surrounded by costumes.

In protest to having to spend the entire day in a suit, when we finally were free of our mock trial duties, (and after everyone else had changed back into street clothes) we donned our most obnoxious jock outfits and RULED the dining hall at dinner. We may have posed a slight violation of dress code in our short shorts/leggings combo, but after some of the getups we’d seen at lunch, that hardly seemed like a just travesty.

But one thing that positively topped homecoming weekend was the trip to Leesburg that resulted in the discovery of the Great Fountain of Bubbles. No, we did not put the bubbles in it! Jeez. We found it that way, and took advantage of it. (It told us no, but we knew it wanted it.) So as we came upon this fountain that was already over a foot deep in bubbles, we made a decision. Our options were: be mature, look at the fountain, and walk by; or, PLAY IN IT TO OUR HEARTS CONTENT, bury each other, throw it at each other, make bubble hats, bubble clothes, and bubble snowmen. *hint: we chose the second option.

While we were in the midst of our immaturity, a guy with a camera came up to us. Apparently he was a professional photographer taking a photo/video set for the restaurant right by the fountain, and decided that a bunch of college kids throwing bubbles at each other was a way cooler use of his time. So, he took pictures and videos of our little run in with the Great Fountain of Bubbles.

The best part: walking into a bowling alley for cosmic bowling with remnants of soap and bubbles in your hair and all over your clothes, and getting looks from all the employees like you’ve gone completely crazy. Win? Win.

On the Hazards of Being a Vegetarian at PHC

PHC prides itself in its uplifting, Christian community, and the way that people stick together, support, and encourage one another. Or so I was told before I came here. Since my arrival, I’ve learned of several critical things that they conveniently left out of their recruitment materials. The first was that in order to attend PHC, you’re supposed to be a proficient swing dancer. [Oops.] The second is that the whole spiel about the “uplifting community” doesn’t apply to those who choose not to eat meat.

Both halves of Chrabby happen to be vegetarians (and have been for years). I personally have it easier than Christina, who also has allergies to gluten and lactose. It can make eating in the dining hall a difficult experience. I mean…salad is great. But after a few weeks of nothing else it can get a little old, especially when you’re used to specialty food from home. But the difficulty we have in diversifying our diets pales in comparison to the other challenge presented to vegetarians at PHC. Vegetarians are hazed, by students and faculty alike.

Perhaps we should have expected it. Conservatives and homeschoolers stereotypically support the NRA, and cite the principles of the second amendment as if the foundation of our country depends on our permanent “right” to slaughter wildlife. I knew what I was getting into before I even got here, when someone posted on the Class of 2015 Facebook group, asking if there was any storage for guns off campus. Because God forbid a human should go for four months without killing something. I sarcastically posted something to that effect just to see what would happen, and sure enough, was mobbed by a bunch of hunting fanatics, all eager to turn me from my evil and misled ways. I don’t really want to be converted actually, but thanks anyway. 

What came as more of a surprise to me was the opinion of the faculty. Dr. Cox is famous for his stories about killing animals. Earlier last week I’d left class when he told a story about killing a rat with hedge clippers. When I walk into Theology I emotionally brace myself for animal cruelty, but when he got to the part about how the clippers didn’t go all the way through the rat, I couldn’t stay. In the next class, Dr. Cox was talking about how his neighbor would not allow him to shoot a deer that was on the neighbor’s property. He told the class that he could not morally shoot a deer that was standing two feet over the property line, but “as soon as that deer put its toe over the line” it would meet its brutal end. A bit confused about this aggression toward the deer, I asked him to reconcile his moral standard for me. Why did the neighbor’s boundaries matter so much compared to the life of the deer, which he took with so little thought? In his explanation, he proceeded to take a crack at vegetarians, before one of my classmates piped up that I actually was a vegetarian. *footmouth*

I didn’t really think too much of it until later that day, when students who weren’t in my section started coming up to me and asking me if I had “really said that stuff.” Apparently he mentioned a crazy vegetarian girl in both of his other sections. I don’t understand the concept of friending your professors on facebook, but some of the people here do, and they showed me his status, which went something like “I met a vegetarian today, and I was surprised to find out that people who care about animals actually exist.” Only at PHC.

Posting this, I already have that apprehensive feeling, knowing that I’m going to be approached in the dining hall by more eager “meatvangelists.” We’re always happy to explain why we prefer not to eat meat, but no matter how many Bible verses you throw at us, we’re not going to change..

On the same note of vegetarianism, I was also asked by a professor about my *strange* eating habits. This one, however, was a little bit kinder than Dr. Cox and his followers. Dr. Favelo curiously asked me if I was a vegan. I quickly clarified that no, unfortunately, I am not a vegan, but I do avoid the flesh of animals as well as dairy. Problem? *trollface*

Chrabby would like to make it clear that we are very sorry for not posting last week. We understand the we made a quasi-promise to post every weekend for the student body of PHC. However, there are times when promises must be broken, as homework must take priority. (We sometimes do that funny, responsible student thing). Hopefully, we’ll be able to post again this weekend (if we can get all our Western Civ studying done, the WC essay, R&W final, study for Spinney…).

Don’t forget that if you have any Spinneyisms, Favelisms, epic stories, or anything suggestions of what you’d like to see on the blog, send them to keepcalmandstudyspinney@gmail.com. Enjoy!!!

Dear Dearest Dan

We are sorry. Chrabby apologizes immensely for our tragic acts against you. We promise, we swear, we commit, we are obligated....yes. The new blog post will be out by the end of the day.

Forgive us